Last Entry

Hello.

This will probably be my last entry.

I don't want to look back on what I went through, but I don't want to erase them either.

I'll leave it here and one day, I'll come back.

Peace and love.

Please

Please don't get mad at me...

Reputation

A little over a month into the school year, and I already have a reputation throughout the campus' Asian frat and sorority community. A bad reputation.

So one girl wants to fight me. She is 21 years old. She talks like a bitch. She looks like a whore. She smokes and puffs. She curses unnecessarily, even more than Warren and his friend combined. She knows martial arts, and now she hates me, and wants to fight me.

I can't go out much anymore. I'm toxic. That's the girl I am. I go and infect everyone around me.

I guess... transferring to Binghamton is my only way out.

I'm sorry to myself. I'm sorry Warren, because you don't know what's going on. I'm sorry to the person I affected. I'm sorry to the girl I hurt. I'm sorry to the bitch, just because I don't want to get kicked by you. I'm sorry.

Stuff I have to do

Stuff I have to do.

1. Check my mail and cash in my check.

2. Pay $40 for SUNYApp for Binghamton.

3. Buy swimming goggles.

4. Find a job with Dennis.

5. Contact the University and ask why I was fined $40.

6. Stop going on AIM.

7. Stop going on Facebook.

8. Kill my social life here and somehow survive.

9. Swim.

10. Give back $100 to Julianne's mom.

11. Solve my family's problems from 3 hours away, without them telling me about it.


I want to strangle someone.

You let go

When you have responsibility, you won't do such a thing.

So why are you letting it go? Why are you letting us down. Why are you letting yourself down. Why did you give it up so fast? Is that what you think of us? Is that all you can do for us?

I am no longer believing in you.

Adults are Stupid

Adults are actually one of the stupidest creatures in the world. In the universe.

They are selfish. They think they are knowledgeable. They say they have lived long, we should listen to them, they have experienced more. But many times, the children are the brighter ones. Adults choose to make the paths for children, but most of the time, they do not know what they are doing. They mess up. They mess others up. They lose it all.

Adults are stupid and selfish.

I don't want my family to move to Albany. I don't want my mom to go to a school in Albany. I don't want my mom to listen to her stupid friend.

I want a home to go to. I don't want to leave my memories hanging 3 hours away. I want it there.

I want my home there.

Do you remember when we first met? Pt. 2

Do you remember when we first met I sure do
It was some time in early September...

I do remember, I do.

I don't remember how I felt though. I can't feel it anymore. It's empty. I don't feel the blood rushing when I listen to you. You don't appeal to me, I'm not attracted. I'm not crazy about you, and I'm not in love.

I forgot.

What do I do now?