Loneliness = Murder

I'm so lonely, boohoo. I think I'll just shoot women at a gym.
In diary, shooting suspect shares despair, intent to kill.



What? You don't make sense. How do those two even connect?

I've been lonely plenty of times.

I was lonely when I moved to this country 10 years ago. (Ohmygod that was 10 years ago?). I couldn't speak the language, and even those who did couldn't understand me because they were so bad at Korean. I didn't understand, I didn't know. So lonely.

I was lonely when I moved 3,000 miles across the country in 8th grade. Probably the worst time to move. For one thing, I was going through my inevitable preteen puberty; you get depressed for no reason, you hate your sisters, you hate your parents, you hate teachers, you hate the world. I even thought of ways to kill myself, because I wanted to know if my family would care if I died. I ran through the list: cutting my wrists, hanging myself, throwing myself in front of a car, overdosing on pills. It was pretty serious. On top of that, I didn't know anyone. New Yorkers were so impatient, so cold, so bitchy. I hated the world. So lonely, oh so lonely.

I was lonely in my junior year of high school, when I decided I needed to lose a bit of weight, but ended up losing way too much, and put myself in a bit of a danger. I struggled to keep myself healthy. No one helped me. No one asked me "how are you?" No one does that. People stare, people talk. But never to you. Never to me. It was cold and I was lonely. So lonely.

And I will probably be lonely when I start my first year of college.

But you know what? You make relationships with these things called people. And you build something called friendship. You can't do that? Then I'm sorry, maybe you're being a bitch. No, even the bitchiest bitches make thousands of friends. You're probably not making an effort. At all.

Okay, I know. Those comparisons up there probably don't even compare to the loneliness thousands of people feel everyday. He wants a family, he wants to find love, maybe even just temporary short-lived love, he wants meaning in his life, he wants to feel special, he wants friends, he wants someone to care for him. I'm sorry if you're that lonely, I don't know how it feels. But there are thousands, millions who feel just like you. Lonely.

This world is not fair, and if you think you're going to get friends just sitting around, smiling and feeding the ducks, well it doesn't always work like that. You suck up to people. You make them look at you. You gotta demand some attention. And no, don't become an attention whore. Just simply become the person you wish you could be. It sounds easy, but it's hard. And at the same time, it's so much easier than killing others so you wouldn't feel so lonely anymore.

And why did he kill women?

Grow up. Please. No offense, but you have the mind of a 2-year old, but worse. People like you make me mad. I personally know someone like that, and it makes me wonder how one person could be so freaking bitter. I don't care if you were thrown away as a child, raped by your brother, beat by your father. It sounds harsh, and I pretty much sound like a cold-hearted bitch. But I'm angry, and I'm ranting at you. Grow up. You're not the center of the universe. And if you want to be, maybe you should start talking so people realize you're not invisible. Maybe then you won't feel so lonely anymore.



Post Disclaimer: I was really angry when I wrote this. If you really are lonely and are looking for help, please look for help. I don't want anyone to actually feel even more worthless after reading this. I'm not mad at you. I was just angry at that man for killing people, just because he was lonely and wanted others to feel the similar pain. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. Images from bing.com.

Peace and love.