I'M SCREAMING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I want to scream!
So loud!
I want to scream and pop everyone's eardrums on the way!
I want to show everyone what a monster I can be!
I want to show everyone that I can be an angry person too!
I want to kick something.
I want to punch something.
I want to puke on something.
I want to rip something.
I want to throw something and I want it to splatter, shatter, crack into a million bazillion pieces. And I want it to hurt.
I want to smash the guitar.
I want to throw glass bottles on the streets.
I want to run around naked and look like a demon child.
I want to set this house on fire.
I want to blow my own eardrums out.
I want to scream.
I want to cry.
I want to cry so much, that I'll be too tired to even breath.
I want to cry and be thirsty after.
I want to freeze.
I want you to burn.
I want to fly and burn everything on my way.
I want to kick someone.
I want to punch someone.
I want to rip someone.
I want to cut something.
I want to cut someone.
I want to draw blood.
I want to bruise skin.
I want to cause pain.
I want destruction.

I'm so fucking unstable right now. I want everything to burn and die and be in pain.
I want all of you to burn in hell. I don't fucking care. Go away and don't come back. I don't care about any of you.

And at the same time, I'm only feeling this way because I want you so bad.
I want you to hold me.
I want you to talk to me.
I want you to smile at me.
I want you to touch me.
I want you to look at me.
I want you to sympathize with me.
I want you to pat my head.
I want you to comb my hair.
I want you to play with my hands.
I want you to tie my hair.
I want you to touch my cheeks.
I want you to hold my hands.
I want you to hug me.
I want you to care.
I want you to care for me in a different way than you care for everyone else.
I want you to come here and stay.
I just want... something.

I don't know what I want.

As I said, I am so unstable. I'm going to blow up sometime, someday. I don't want to, but I think I will. Please be careful around me. I don't want to blow up on someone I love.