Time should really fucking stop

Another big, long rant that you definitely should not read.
And if you do read, it probably is not about you.



If I didn't care about anything in the internet world, I would write out my brains right here, right now. But I do care. The internet world is a dangerous world. Not so safe, not hush-hush at all.

But I'm going to try.

Please, look at me. Are you seriously saying that you cannot see what you think you see in my eyes? How do you think I was feeling? Did my dark, colorless eyes seem happy to you? Do you care? At all? If I just go away now, will anything even change? You're just going to continue what you were doing today. You're all just going to continue to live your lives.

I know, because when my friends went away to college, nothing changed. Nothing whatsoever. Of course I missed them, but, so what? I have other friends here, friends my grade, friends younger than me.

That's how you think. That's why you don't worry. That's why you don't look at me, because you think I'm going to be here forever. But just change your thoughts for like, a week? Maybe?

And look at me! I'm so frustrated, I'm so angry, I'm so aggravated. I feel so alone and so uncared for. This is not what I asked for. This is definitely not what I asked for. Let me feel like I exist! For just one week? My last one week?

I understand I'm the same, there's nothing more to me. But, just one more week, and I'll be gone for 3 months. You won't see me for 90 days. That's long enough, right? Just look at me, seriously look at me. I demand you. Now. Look. At. Me. And pay attention to me, because I'm still here, I still exist.

But I won't be here within 6 days.

So look at me while I'm still here. When I'm gone, I won't give you the chance to glance at me. I'm going to go away and never come back. I'm going to throw everything away, as you have neglected me. I don't care. I don't care at all. Throw me away and I'm going to throw everything away. Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me how to feel. Don't judge me, don't test me, don't make me angry.

Pamper me, make me happy. Be my slave for a week. Throw yourself away for me. I want to be selfish, I want to take everything away from you. I want you to look at only me, only me. Just me. Look at me goddammit. Buy this for me. Run for me. Come here for me. Go away, for me. Look at me. Talk to me.

While I'm still here.

Look what you did. You made me cry. Again.