Unhappy, so unhappy

Why do I appear so unhappy?

Maybe it's because I am.

I don't know what's making me like this. It's like, another wave of depression hit me. The same one that hit me almost 4 years ago.

It's the one that makes me want to forget about everything, everyone else, and just go out and do whatever I feel like doing. It makes me want to go out and never come home. It makes me want to run away. It makes me want to do things my friends wouldn't want me to do, just to spite them. It makes me want to forget about people. It makes me want to forget about all the relationships I built up -- family and friends and everything else. It makes me want to either crawl inside my cave or go out into the wild.

What I'm saying is, it makes me want to be someone else totally different.

I'm sorry I'm not the happy person I was when you first met me.
I'm sorry I can't even act like I'm happy.

I'm just sorry.